Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women by Christine B. Whelan

Author:Christine B. Whelan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Published: 2006-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

Always a bridesmaid?

There are two waves of marriages. The first is a boom in the mid-20s, when it seems as if the whole world is getting married except you. Many high-achieving women begin to panic at this stage because they aren’t a part of it. The second big wave of marriages takes place in the early to mid-30s. That’s when it’s more likely for those among the SWANS to glide to the altar.

The First Wave

Raquel, a 25-year-old who works at a private equity firm, has been receiving thick calligraphied envelopes at an increasingly rapid rate. She’s in the midst of the first wave. “All my friends are getting engaged and now I’m starting to worry,” she said. “OK, not worry, really, but be aware of it. All of them are successful and smart. I’m really happy for them. But while I don’t feel old, when I turned 25 I said, how did I get that old? I just don’t want to grow up. I don’t have a five-year plan.”

According to the original Harris Interactive data collected for this book, one-third of SWANS are concerned that they are going to be “left behind” as all their other friends marry. And indeed, different life stages can mean trouble for friendships. Eighty-four percent of women and 78 percent of men said they have lost or become estranged from friends because they were in different phases of their lives.

In the first wave of weddings, SWANS need to brace themselves: You’re going to be a bridesmaid or a solo guest a lot. You won’t get that plus-one option very often, and you’ll suffer through yet another rendition of “I Will Survive” on the dance floor with the rest of the single girls. I attended seven weddings in one year and went solo to every single one. At one, I was the only unmarried bridesmaid, so the makeup artist did her best to turn me into the sexy seductress of the bunch.

Make an effort at these weddings—you never know who you might meet. Check out what you like and don’t like about each of the events so you’ll be prepared for your own. And be thrilled for your friends. They’re going to be excited to dance at your big day soon.

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